A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.
My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them too. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head.